I turned 40 in May 2021. I had a lot of thoughts about ageing leading up to it. Especially in 2019 before my mind was crowded by other things. Now some of the thoughts are returning to me.
I had the fortune to be gifted a body and face that was considered beautiful. Not really as a young teenager because then nobody could see it - least myself who thought to be beautiful you should look like Pamela Anderson, the most desired woman in the world at the time. But by the age of 17 I was making money because of my beauty and I was sent to Milan for my school Holidays. And after that it was a sort of fact that I was beautiful. (Although never have I been so informed about my flaws and imperfection as in those years of being a model. But I have also never been as praised for the way I look.)
Things are different now.